Medical Love SongMedical Love Song
   
Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile.
I've had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while.
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June.
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon.
  
My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores,
Your monenelial infection, how I miss you more and more.
Your dhobis itch,
My scrumpox,
Our lovely gonorrhoea.
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear.
  
Our syphillic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst.
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist.
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine.
I got snail tracks in my anus when your spirochaetes met mine.
  
Gonococcal urethritis,
Streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
Interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior ureitis.
  
My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen.
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green.
  
My heart is very tender,
'Though the parts are awful raw.
You might have been infected, but you never were a bore.
I'm dying from your love, my love,
I'm your spirochaetal clown.
I've left my body to science,
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.
  
Gonococcal urethritis,
Streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
Interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior ureitis.
  
Music by: John Du Prez and Eric Idle
Lyrics by: Graham Chapman and Eric Idle
 

 

 

 

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