Medical Love Song
Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile.
I've had ballanital
chancroids for quite a little while.
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June.
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon.
My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores,
Your monenelial
infection, how I miss you more and more.
Your dhobis itch,
My scrumpox,
Our lovely gonorrhoea.
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear.
Our
syphillic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst.
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist.
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine.
I got snail tracks in my anus when your spirochaetes met mine.
Gonococcal
urethritis,
Streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal
cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
Interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior
ureitis.
My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen.
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green.
My heart is very tender,
'Though the parts are awful raw.
You might have been infected, but you never were a bore.
I'm dying from your love, my love,
I'm your spirochaetal clown.
I've left my body to science,
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.
Gonococcal
urethritis,
Streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal
cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
Interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior
ureitis.
Music by: John Du Prez and Eric Idle
Lyrics by: Graham Chapman and Eric Idle