I Am Not Dead Yet


Fred: (spoken) I feel happy. I feel happy   

Fred: I am not dead yet

I can dance and I can sing

I am not dead yet

I can do the Highland fling

I am not dead yet

No need to go to bed

No need to call the doctor

'Cos I'm not yet dead


Male Chorus: He is not yet dead

That's what the geezer said

Oh, he's not yet dead

That man is off his head

He is not yet dead

Put him back in bed

Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead


Fred dances to show everyone he's not dead. Then Lancelot whacks him on the head with a shovel. There's a wee pause


Male Chorus:

Well now he's dead

You whacked him on the head

Sure now he's dead

It makes me just see red

You are such a brute

To murder that old coot

You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead


Who is the knave  (who is he?) 

Who put him in his grave

And who needs to manage his anger?


Lance: My name is Lancelot

I'm big and strong and hot  (UK version: Butch and strong and hot)

Occasionally I do

Some things that I should not


Robin: I want to be a knight

But I don't like to fight

I'm rather scared I may

Simply run away


Lance: I'll be right with you

Robin through and through and through

So stick with me and I'll show you what to do


Robin and Lance: We'll remain good chums


Lance: You can teach me how to dance


Both: We're going to enlist


Robin: I'm Robin


Lance: And I'm Lance


Male Chorus:

Oh we're off to war

Because we're not yet dead

We will all enlist

As the Knights that Arthur led


Fred: I am coming too

My name will be Sir Fred

I'll be your musician

‘Cos I'm not yet dead


Male Chorus: Oh we're not dead yet

To Camelot we go

To enlist instead

To try and earn some dough

And so although

We should have stayed in bed

We're going off to war

Because we're not yet dead


Lance: (over chorus) To kill

I will

It gives me such a thrill


Robin: (Over chorus) To sing

And dance

And keep an eye on Lance


Original stage show and soundtrack lyrics


UK tour lyrics


All: We're going off to war

We'll have girlfriends by the score


Fred: We'll be shot by Michael Moore


All: We're going to enlist

Say goodbye to girls we've kissed


Fred: So we might as well get pissed


All: Because we're not yet (Fred gets hit again) dead…

Not yet dead.


 Follows on to the Not Dead Yet playoff as they leave the stage.





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