I Am Not Dead Yet

 

Fred: (spoken) I feel happy. I feel happy   

Fred: I am not dead yet

I can dance and I can sing

I am not dead yet

I can do the Highland fling

I am not dead yet

No need to go to bed

No need to call the doctor

'Cos I'm not yet dead

 

Male Chorus: He is not yet dead

That's what the geezer said

Oh, he's not yet dead

That man is off his head

He is not yet dead

Put him back in bed

Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead

 

Fred dances to show everyone he's not dead. Then Lancelot whacks him on the head with a shovel. There's a wee pause

 

Male Chorus:

Well now he's dead

You whacked him on the head

Sure now he's dead

It makes me just see red

You are such a brute

To murder that old coot

You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead

 

Who is the knave  (who is he?) 

Who put him in his grave

And who needs to manage his anger?

 

Lance: My name is Lancelot

I'm big and strong and hot  (UK version: Butch and strong and hot)

Occasionally I do

Some things that I should not

 

Robin: I want to be a knight

But I don't like to fight

I'm rather scared I may

Simply run away

 

Lance: I'll be right with you

Robin through and through and through

So stick with me and I'll show you what to do

 

Robin and Lance: We'll remain good chums

 

Lance: You can teach me how to dance

 

Both: We're going to enlist

 

Robin: I'm Robin

 

Lance: And I'm Lance

 

Male Chorus:

Oh we're off to war

Because we're not yet dead

We will all enlist

As the Knights that Arthur led

 

Fred: I am coming too

My name will be Sir Fred

I'll be your musician

‘Cos I'm not yet dead

 

Male Chorus: Oh we're not dead yet

To Camelot we go

To enlist instead

To try and earn some dough

And so although

We should have stayed in bed

We're going off to war

Because we're not yet dead

 

Lance: (over chorus) To kill

I will

It gives me such a thrill

 

Robin: (Over chorus) To sing

And dance

And keep an eye on Lance

        

Original stage show and soundtrack lyrics

  

UK tour lyrics

  

All: We're going off to war

We'll have girlfriends by the score

 

Fred: We'll be shot by Michael Moore

 

All: We're going to enlist

Say goodbye to girls we've kissed

  

Fred: So we might as well get pissed

    

All: Because we're not yet (Fred gets hit again) dead…

Not yet dead.

   

 Follows on to the Not Dead Yet playoff as they leave the stage.

 

 

 

 

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