Diva's Lament (Whatever Happened To My Part?)


Lady storms on stage and threatens the lighting guys into giving her a spotlight, and the orchestra into playing.


Lady of the Lake: What ever happened to my part?

It was exciting at the start.

Now we're halfway through Act 2

And I've had nothing yet to do.


I've been offstage for far too long

It's ages since I had a song.

This is one unhappy Diva

The producer's have deceived her.

There is nothing I can sing from my heart.

Whatever happened to My Part?


Stage show version*



Soundtrack album version


My love life is a mess

I've got constant PMS

My career is about as hot as ice

They hate me there backstage

They say I'm too old for my age

(UK stage version: They say I'm worse than Elaine Paige )

They're trying to replace me with Posh Spice#

With Posh Spice!!


Whatever happened to My Show?

I was a hit, now I don't know.

I'm with a bunch of stupid Knights,

Prancing 'round in woolly tights.



I am sick of my career

Always starting second gear

Up to here, with frustration and with fear.

I've no Grammy, no rewards,

I've no Tony Awards,

I'm constantly replaced by Britney Spears.

Britney Spears!


Whatever happened to My Show?

I was a hit, now I don't know.

I'm with a bunch of British Knights,

Prancing 'round in woolly tights.


I might as well go to the Pub

They've been out searching for a shrub

Out shopping for a bush

Well they can kiss my Tush!

It seems to me they've really lost the plot


Whatever Happened to My…

I'll Call my Agent, Dammit!

Whatever Happened to My…

Not Yours! Not Yours!

But My…

(big Diva finish) Pa-art!



(*this new version was introduced in Feb 2008 after Britney Spears's much publicised breakdown)

(#The name of the person she's being replaced also changes according to who's in the news. For example, during the UK tour in 2010, it was Cheryl Cole rather than Posh Spice)





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