ART CRITIC THE PLACE OF THE NUDE

 

Cartoon entitled 'Full Frontal Nudity'.

 

Cut to two naked men.

 

Man (G.C.): Full frontal nudity - never. What do you think, Barbara?

 

Barbara (T.J.): Oh, no, no, no...unless it was artistically valid, of course.

 

Cut to a stockbroker.

 

Stockbroker (M.P.): Full frontal nudity? Yes I'd do it, if it was valid. Or if the money was valid, and if it were a very small part.

 

Cut to art critic examining a nude painting.

 

Caption: 'An Art Critic'

 

He sees the camera and starts guiltily.

 

Art Critic (M.P.): Good evening. I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of the nude in my bed ... um ... in the history of my bed ... of art, of art, I'm sorry. The place of the nude in the history of tart... call-girl... I'm sorry. I'll start again... Bum ... oh what a giveaway. The place of the nude in art. (a seductively dressed girl enters slinkily) Oh hello there father, er confessor, professor, your honour, your grace ...

 

Girl (Katya Wyeth): (cutely) I'm not your Grace, I'm your Elsie.

 

Art Critic: What a terrible joke!

 

Girl: (crying) But it's my only line!

   

 

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