BURGLAR/ ENCYCLOPAEDIA SALESMAN

 

Cut to front door of a flat. Man walks up to the door and rings bell. He is dressed smartly.

 

Salesman (E.I.): Burglar! (longish pause while he waits, he rings again) Burglar!

 

Woman appears at other side of door

 

Woman (J.C.): Yes?

 

Salesman: Burglar, madam.

 

Woman: What do you want?

 

Salesman: I want to come in and steal a few things, madam.

 

Woman: Are you an encyclopaedia salesman?

 

Salesman: No madam, I'm a burglar, I burgle people.

 

Woman: I think you're an encyclopaedia salesman.

 

Salesman: Oh I'm not, open the door, let me in please.

 

Woman: If I let you in you'll sell me encyclopaedias.

 

Salesman: I won't, madam. I just want to come in and ransack the flat. Honestly.

 

Woman: Promise. No encyclopaedias?

 

Salesman: None at all.

 

Woman: All right. (she opens door) You'd better come in then.

 

Salesman enters in through door.

 

Salesman: Mind you I don't know whether you've really considered the advantages of owning a really fine set of modern encyclopaedias...(he pockets valuable) You know, they can really do you wonders.

 

Cut back to the Head of the Careers Advisory Board  from the previous sketch at a desk.

 

Head of the Careers Advisory Board (M.P.): That man was a successful encyclopaedia salesman. But not all encyclopaedia salesmen are successful. Here is an unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesman.

 

Cut to very tall building; a body flies out of a high window and plummets. Cut back to man at desk.

 

Head of the Careers Advisory Board: Now here are two unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesmen.

 

Cut to a different tall building; two bodies fly out of a high window. Cut back to man at desk.

 

Head of the Careers Advisory Board: I think there's a lesson there for all of us.

  

'"MAN'S CRISIS OF IDENTITY IN THE LATTER HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY" WAS CONCEIVED, WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY... (CREDITS)'