Two animated men dance to jug band music. When they finish we to the barber and customer from the Homicidal Barber sketch. 


Barber: So anyway, I became a barber. 


Customer: (sympathetically) Poor chap. 


Barber: Yes, pity really, I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, fishing. Getting out there with a gun, slaughtering a few of God's creatures - that was the life. Charging about the moorland, blasting their heads off. 


Cut to a large country house. A number of upper-class sporting gentlemen dressed in hunting tweed and carrying shotguns come out, casually firing the guns at random. They climb into a Land Rover and drive off, leaving one dead on the step.  


Cut to hunting country. A line of beater moves towards the camera; as they do so several young couples leap up out of the undergrowth and run away. Shots of hunters stalking their prey and shooting. One of them breaks his gun into two pieces. Another fires into the air. An egg lands on his head.  


Cut to two duellists (with pistols) and a referee standing between them. They fire; the referee falls dead. A hunting gentleman fires into the air, falls over backwards; a young couple gets up from close behind him and run away. Another hunting gentleman is arguing defensively with a pilot who has just landed by parachute. A hunter fires into some bushes; a Red Indian pops up and runs away in alarm.  


They all return to the house, legs and arms variously in plaster and bandaged. Two of them carry a pole between them from which is slung a very small bird. They go into the house. Then the dead one fires his gun and another bird falls out of the sky.  


The picture of the outside of the house freezes and we pull back to reveal that it is a photo on a stand, by which stands the knight in amour, expectantly flexing his raw chicken. The floor manager comes up to him. 


Floor Manager: I'm sorry, we don't need you this week. 


Knight looks dejected, droops and slinks off, still holding chicken. He walks past a hen house from wherein lies the Announcer. 


Announcer: (J.C.) And now for something completely different.



    Back to Season One index