CAPTION: 'IT'S THE ARTS'
Announcer sitting at desk
Announcer (E.I.): Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'It's the Arts'. And we kick off this evening with the cinema.
Cut to host and Ross.
Host (J.C.): Good evening. One of the most prolific film directors of this age, or indeed of any age, is Sir Edward Ross, back in his native country for the first time for five years to open a season of his works at the National Film Theatre, and we are very fortunate to have him with us in this studio this evening.
Host: Edward... you don't mind if I call you Edward?
Ross: No, not at all.
Host: Only it does worry some people - I don't know why...but they are a little sensitive so I take the precaution of asking on these occasions.
Ross: No, no, no that's fine.
Host: So Edward's all right. Splendid. Splendid. I'm sorry to have brought it up, only eh...
Ross: No, no, please. Edward it is.
Host: Well thank you very much for being so helpful...only it's more than my job's worth to...er...
Ross: Quite, yes.
Host: Makes it rather difficult to establish a rapport ... to put the other person at his ease...
Ross: Quite.
Host: Yes, silly little point but it does seem to matter. Still - less said the better. Uh...Ted...when you first started in...you don't mind if I call you Ted?
Ross: No, no, no everyone calls me Ted.
Host: Well it's shorter, isn't it.
Ross: Yes it is.
Host: Yes, and much less formal!
Ross: Yes, Ted, Edward, anything!
Host: Splendid, splendid. Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense! Ha ha ha ha! Now where were we? Ah yes. Eddie-baby, when you first started in the...
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I don't like being called 'Eddie-baby'.
Host: I'm sorry?
Ross: I don't like being called 'Eddie-baby'.
Host: Did I call you 'Eddie-baby'?
Ross: Yes, you did! Now get on with it.
Host: I don't think I did call you Eddie-baby.
Ross: You did call me Eddie-baby.
Host: (looking off-screen) Did I call him Eddie-baby?
Voices: Yes. No. Yes.
Host: I didn't really call you Eddie-baby, did I, sweetie?
Ross: Don't call me sweetie!!
Host: Can I call you sugar plum?
Ross: No!
Host: Pussy cat?
Ross: No.
Host: Angel-drawers?
Ross: No you may not! Now get on with it!
Host: Can I call you 'Frank'?
Ross: Why Frank?
Host: It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.
Ross: What is going on?
Host: Frannie, little Frannie, Frannie Knickers...
Ross: (Getting up) No. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm off...
He goes
Host: Tell us about your latest film, Sir Edward.
Ross: (Off-screen) What?
Host: Tell us about your latest film, if you'd be so very kind, Sir Edward.
Ross: None of this 'pussy cat' nonsense?
Host: Promise. (Pats seat) Please, Sir Edward.
Ross: My latest film?
Host: Yes, Sir Edward.
Ross: Well the idea, funnily enough, came from an idea I had when I first joined the industry in 1919. Of course, in those days I was only the tea boy.
Host: Oh, shut up.
