GUMBY BRAIN SPECIALIST

Close up on a sign saying 'Harley Street'. Stirring music. Mix through to interior of a smart, plush, expensive looking Harley Street consulting room. The music swells and fades. Knocking at door, a short pause, the louder banging. Door opens and  T.F. Gumby enters- backwards.  

 T.F. Gumby: (M.P.) Doctor! Doctor! DOCTOR! (he goes up to the antique desk and bangs the bell violently; he smashed up the intercom, the desk, and generally causes carnage) Doctor! Doctor! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! Doctor! Doctor! Where is the Doctor?  

A pause. Then another door opens and another Gumby appears.  

Specialist: (J.C.) Hello!  

 T.F. Gumby: Are you the brain specialist?  

A pause. The Gumby specialist looks confused.

Specialist: Hello!  

 T.F. Gumby: Are you the brain specialist?  

Specialist: No, no, I am not the brain specialist. No, no, I am not... Yes. Yes I am.  

 T.F. Gumby: My brain hurts!  

Specialist: Well let's take a look at it, Mr Gumby.  

The Gumby specialist goes to look down Mr. Gumby's trousers.  

 T.F. Gumby: No, no, no, my brain in my head.   

Specialist: Oh (smacks T.F. Gumby hard on the head several times) It will have to come out.  

 T.F. Gumby: Out? Of my head?  

Specialist: Yes! All the bits of it. Nurse! Nurse! (a nurse enters - the Gumby specialist doesn't see her even though she's right in front of him) NURSE! NURSE! (suddenly sees the nurse) Nurse, take Mr Gumby to a brain surgeon.  

Nurse: (Lyn Ashley*) Yes doctor...  

 She leads Gumby out. In the background the specialist is grunting and shouting.  

Specialist: Where's the 'Lancet'?  

Nurse: (to T. F. Gumby) He's brilliant you know.  

Specialist: Where's the bloody 'Lancet'? My brain hurts too.  

Ambulance racing. Cut to operating theatre. The surgeon is Not a Gumby.  

Surgeon: (G.C.) Gloves ...  (is handed gloves, he puts them on)  

Glasses... (assistant puts glasses on him)  

Moustache... (assistant sticks a moustache on him)  

Handkerchief... (assistant places a knotted handkerchief on his head)  

The surgeon has now become a full blown Gumby  

(In Gumby voice) I'm going to operate!!  

We now see he is surrounded by Gumbys. T. F. Gumby is on operating table.  

All: Let's operate.  

They begin to use woodworking implements on T. F. Gumby. Mr. Gumby sits up.

 T.F. Gumby: Hello!  

Surgeon: Ooh! We forgot the anaesthetic!  

Operating Gumbys: The anaesthetic! The anaesthetic!  

Shot of the operating theatre doors. A pause, then the Gumby anaesthetist comes crashing through the wall with two gas cylinders.  

Gumby Anaesthetist: (T.J.) I've come to anaesthetise you!!  

 He smacks T.F. Gumby hard over the head with a gas cylinder. Bong. Blackness. And into an animation.  

* NB. Lyn Ashley was credited at the end of this programme as "Mrs Idle". Not surprising, considering at the time she was married to our Eric!