'THE ATTILA THE HUN SHOW'/ ATTILA THE NUN

 

Stock film of fast moving Huns thundering around on horseback.

 

First Voice Over: (J.C.) In the fifth century, as the once-mighty Roman Empire crumbled, the soft underbelly of Western Europe lay invitingly exposed to the barbarian hordes to the East. Alaric the Visigoth, Gaiseric the Vandal and Theodoric the Ostrogoth in turn swept westward in a reign of terror. But none surpassed in power and cruelty the mighty Attila the Hun.

 

Second Voice Over: (M.P.)  Ladies and gentlemen, it's the 'The Attila the Hun Show'.

 

Cut to film. Music plays: 'The Debbie Reynolds Show' theme - 'With a little love, just a little love'. We see Attila the Hun running towards Mrs Attila the Hun in slow motion, laughing and smiling.

 

Caption: 'THE ATTILA THE HUN SHOW'

 

Attila and his wife frolic and fall over in slow motion for a bit (copying the Debbie Reynolds credits as closely as possible).

 

Captions: 'STARRING ATTILA THE HUN'

'AND KAY SLUDGE AS MRS ATTILA THE HUN'

'WITH TY GUDRUN AND NIK CON AS JENNY AND ROBIN ATTILA THE HUN'

'MUSIC BY THE HUNLETS'

 

Cut to stock film of fast-moving Huns on horseback.

 

First Voice Over: In the second quarter of the fifth century, the Huns became a byword for merciless savagery. Their Khan was the mighty warrior Attila. With his devastating armies he swept across Central Europe.

 

Cut to American-living-room-type set. Doorbell rings. Attila the Hun enters the door.

 

Attila: (J.C.) Oh darling, I'm home.

 

Mrs. Attila: (C.C.) Hello darling. Had a busy day at the office?

 

Attila: Not at all bad. (playing to camera) Another merciless sweep across Central Europe.

 

Canned laughter.

 

Mrs. Attila: I won't say I'm glad to see you, but boy, am I glad to see you.

 

Enormous canned laughter and applause. Enter two kids.

 

Jenny: (G.C.) Hi, daddy.

 

Robin: (M.P.) Hi, daddy.

 

Attila: Hi, Jenny, hi, Robby. (brief canned applause) Hey, I've got a present for you two kids in that bag. (they pull out a severed head) I want you kids to get a-head.

 

Enormous shriek of canned laughter and applause. Enter one of us blacked up like Rochester, holding a tray of drinks.

 

Uncle Tom: (E.I.) Hear you are, Mr Hun!

 

Masses of dubbed applause

 

Attila: Hi, Uncle Tom.

 

Uncle Tom: There's a whole horde of them marauding Visigoths to see y'all.

 

Cut to more stock film of these Huns rushing about on their horses. Superimposed image of announcer at his desk.

 

Announcer: (J.C.) And now for something completely different.

 

It's Man: (M.P.) It's ...

 

Massive canned applause.

Animated credit titles.

 

At the end of these titles cut to a country road. After three seconds a motorbike appears in the distance and speeds towards the camera. We see that a wild-looking nun is riding it.

 

First Voice Over: Yes, it's Attila the Nun.

 

Attila the Nun flashes past the camera, There is a loud sound of the bike crashing off camera.

 

Second Voice Over: A simple country girl who took a vow of eternal brutality.  

  

 

   
 

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