RAMSAY MACDONALD STRIPTEASE/ JOB HUNTER
Stock film of former British Prime Minister Ramsay MacDonald arriving at Number 10 Downing Street and any others of that period.
Over: 1929. Stanley Baldwin's Conservative Government is defeated and Ramsay
MacDonald becomes, for the second time, Prime Minister of England.
walks into an empty room - black and white film.
MacDonald: (M.P.) My, it's hot in here.
proceeds to take off his clothes, strips down to black garter belt and
suspenders and stocking.
to Mr. Glans who is sitting next to a fully practical old 8mm home projector.
There is a knock at the door. He switches the projector off and hides it
furtively. He is sitting in an office, with a placard saying 'Exchange and Mart,
Editor' on his desk. He points to it rather obviously.
(J.C.) Hello, come in. (enter Bee, a young aspirant job
hunter) Ah, hello,
hello, how much do you want for that briefcase?
All right then, the briefcase and the umbrella. A fiver down, must be my
Well, I don't want to sell them. I've come for a job.
Oh, take a seat, take a seat.
I see you chose the canvas chair with the aluminium frame. I'll throw
that in and a fiver, for the briefcase and the umbrella ... no, make it fair,
the briefcase and the umbrella and the two pens in your breast pocket and the
chair's yours and a fiver and a pair of ex-German U-boat commander's binoculars.
Really, they are not for sale.
Not for sale, what does that mean?
I came about the advertisement for the job of assistant editor.
Oh yeah, right. Ah, OK, ah. How much experience in journalism?
Right, typing speed?
Right... Well, I'll give you the job, and the chair, and an all-wool
ex-army sleeping bag ... for the briefcase, umbrella, the pens in your breast
pocket and your string vest.
When do I start?
If you throw in the shoes as well. (presses intercom) Hello, er ... Miss
Johnson? Could we have two coffees and biscuits please?
Johnson: (over intercom) One coffee
and one biscuit for the two ex-army greatcoats and the alarm clock on the
Two ex-army greatcoats and the alarm clock and a table lamp, for two
coffees and biscuits.
an elderly secretary at a desk in an empty room.
Johnson: Two greatcoats and two
back to real office.
Two greatcoats, one table lamp and a desert boat.
back to cartoon.
Johnson: For two coffees and
Over: (T.G.) So Miss Johnson returned to
her typing and dreamed her little dreamy dreams, unaware as she was of the cruel
trick fate had in store for her. For Miss Johnson was about to fall victim of
the dreaded international Chinese Communist Conspiracy. (lots of little yellow
men pour into the office) Yes, these fanatical thieves under the leadership of
the so-called Mao Tse-tung (who appears in the animation) had caught Miss
Johnson off guard for one brief but fatal moment and destroyed her. (Miss
Johnson is submerged in a tide of yellow men) Just as they are ready to do
anytime free men anywhere waver in their defence of democracy.
sailing ship with American flag sails in over yellow men. Zoom in on the flag: Uncle Sam appears in front of it.
Sam: Yes, once again American
defence proves its effectiveness against international communism. Using this
diagram of a tooth to represent any small country, we can see how international
communism works by eroding away form the inside (diagram of tooth rotting from
inside and collapsing) When one country or tooth falls victim to international
communism, its neighbours soon follow (the remaining teeth fall sideways into
the gap) In dentistry, this is known as Domino Theory. but with American defence
the decay is stopped before it starts and that's why nine out of ten small
countries choose American defence ...
Voice Over: (E.I.) ...Or Crelm toothpaste
with the miracle ingredient, Fraudulin! The white car represents Crelm
toothpaste with the miracle ingredient, Fraudulin. (two cars in a bleak
landscape) The non-white car represents another toothpaste (the cars race
Both toothpastes provide 30% protection. (they pass a banner: '60% protection')
At 60% protection both toothpastes are doing well. And now at 90% protection the
... wait! (the grey car stops dead at the '90% protection' banner) The non-white
car is out, and the Crelm toothpaste goes on to win with 100% protection! Yes,
do like all smart motorists. Choose Crelm toothpaste.
to 'Shrill' advertising man
Man: (M.P.) Or Shrill Petrol with the new
additive GLC 9424075. After 6 p.m., 9424047. Using this white card (half of
screen goes white) to represent Shrill's new additive GLC 9424075 - after 6
p.m., 9424047 - we can see how the engine deposits are pushed off the face of
the earth by the superior forces available to Shrill. (shot, off) Aaaagh!
End of animation.