TIMMY WILLIAMS INTERVIEW
leading to a booth in a quite expensive looking coffee shop, Italian style.
Nigel is sitting there. Timmy William comes in. He has a passing
resemblance to David Frost.
Wonderful to see you, super, super, super. Am I a teeny bit late?
A bit, an
Timmy: Oh, super!
Only Snowdon's been re-touching my profile and we can't upset the lovely
Snowdon, can we?
Nigel: Gosh, no.
A man passes.
Timmy: (gets up and
clasps his hands) ... David Bloggs ... the one and only ... super to see you.
Who are you working for? Come and work for me, I'll call you tomorrow. (sits
down) It's really lovely to have this little chat with you.
Nigel: Well, I...
Timmy: It is so
nice to have this little talk about things. I heard a teeny rumourlette that you
Nigel: Well, not
quite, no. My wife's just died, actually.
Timmy: Oh dear.
(sees another man passing) Brian! (extends his arm) We must get together again
soon. See you. Bye. (to Nigel) Well, perhaps we could do a tribute to her on the
Nigel: Well, no.
Timmy: I'll get
Peter, William, Arthur, Alex, Joan, Ted, Scott, Will, John and Ray to fix it up.
It is so nice having this little chat.
actually Timmy, I'm glad to get you on your own...
A reporter comes up
to the table.
Timmy: You don't
mind if Peter just sits in, do you?
Timmy: Only he's
doing an article on me for the 'Mail'. He's such a lovely person.
Timmy: Peter, this
is one of the nicest people in the world, Nigel Watt. (Peter scribbles it
W-A-double T. That's right, yes.
actually, Timmy, the thing is, it's a bit private.
A writer comes to
Timmy: Oh, you
don't mind if Peter just sits in, do you? Only Peter's writing a book on me.
Peter, you know Tony from the 'Mail', don't you?
Yes, we met
in the Turkish bath yesterday.
super. Did it come up well in the writing yesterday?
Timmy: You took out
the tummy references? (makes fatness signs)
Peter: Yes, I did.
super, super. Just to fill you in, this is Nigel Watt and we are having a little
heart-to-heart. H-E-A-R-T. Smashing. Do go on, Nigel.
They both start
Nigel: Well, well,
the thing is, Timmy, um er...
Timmy is smiling
and posing. Nigel stops and looks. There is a photographer, hovering.
Timmy: Do carry on,
it's the 'TV Times', only they syndicate these photographs to America. Would you
mind if we just er... (grabs him by the hand and poses hearty friendship
Super, super. One over here, I think, Bob. A little smile, please, smashing,
smashing. Feel free, Bob, to circulate, won't you. Do go on, this is most
Nigel: Well, the
thing is, Timmy, I'm a bit embarrassed.
(coming to table) Oh, Mr Williams, it's so nice to see you. Will you sign this for my
little daughter, please?
Mario. Super, wonderful. (signs) Just two lovely coffees, please.
Director comes in.
sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound,
Timmy: It's German
television. Isn't it exciting, Nigel? They're doing a prize-winning documentary
We see a film
camera and the whole crew gathered round.
Clapper Boy: 'The
Wonderful Mr Williams', scene 239, take 2.
Timmy: (taking the
cue, switches) Mario, how super to see you. How are the lovely family? Please
give your little daughter this. (hands him a five pound note) Thank you. And
just two lovely coffees, please.
Mario: Yes, sir.
Such a lovely waiter. Now, go on please, this is most interesting.
Nigel: Well ...
er... as I was saying, Timmy, my wife's gone... gone. (close-up on him) I've got
three children and I'm at my wits end. No job, no insurance, no money at all.
I'm absolutely flat broke, I just don't know where to turn. I... I'm absolutely
at the end of my tether. You're my only chance. Can you help me, please, Timmy?
He looks up, Timmy
isn't there. Timmy comes bounding back.
Timmy: Sorry, I was
on the phone to America. It's been super having this lovely little chat. We must
do this again more often. Er... will you get the coffees? I'm afraid I must
dash, I'm an hour late for the Israeli Embassy. (there is a shot; Nigel slumps
over the table, gun in his hand) Er... did you get that shot all right, sound?
Sound Man: (off
screen) Yes, fine.
Timmy: It... it
wasn't a bit too wicked, was it? I mean, it wasn't too cruel?
Tony and Peter: No,
no, no. It was great.
Timmy: No, super...
well, er... I think it shows I'm human, don't you?
super. Well, the charabanc's here. Go on, everybody. Bye. (he waves)
They all troop off
after him. Theme music starts to come up, we pull back and see the camera
set-up. Credits start to roll:
Voice Over: Timmy
Williams' 'Coffee Time' was brought to you live from Woppi's in Holborn.
Credits continue to
letters) THEME SCRIPT BY TIMMY WILLIAMS
letters) ENTIRELY WRITTEN BY TIMMY WILLIAMS
BY: (these go straight through very fast)