TOBACCONISTS (PROSTITUTE ADVERT)
which eventually brings us to a close-up on a small ad, which is one of many on
the door of a small newsagent's shop. A shabby man is running an evil eye down
the adverts, puzzling, looking for something. He walks up to the counter. He has
a reflex wink.
morning, sir. Can I help you?
Customer: Help me?
Yeah, I'll say you can help me.
Customer: I come
about your advert - 'Small white pussy cat for sale. Excellent condition'.
Shopkeeper: Ah. You
wish to buy it?
right. Just for the hour. Only I ain't gonna pay more than a fiver 'cos it ain't worth
it's come from a very good home - it's house trained.
think, goes to door, looks at ads again) Chest of drawers? Chest. Drawers. I'd like
some chest of drawers please.
Customer: Does it
it's over there in the corner. (indicates a wooden chest of drawers)
to door, runs his finger down the list of adverts) Pram for sale. Any offers.
I'd like a bit of pram please.
Shopkeeper: Ah yes,
sir. That's in good condition.
Customer: Oh good,
I like them in good condition, eh? Eh?
here it is you see. (picks up pram)
pauses, goes back to the door, runs finger again) Babysitter. No, it's a
Customer: Babysitter - I don't want a babysitter. Be a blood donor - that's it. I'd like to give some blood please, argh! (shopkeeper shakes head) Oh spit. Which one is it? (shopkeeper slips him a card from out of his pocket) Blond prostitute will indulge in any sexual activity for four quid a week. What does that mean?