I Like Chinese
 
Spoken:
The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high
There are tools and idiots sitting on the trigger,
It's depressing and it's senseless and that's why:
 
G
I like Chinese,
A
I like Chinese,
         D    
They only come up to your knees,
                  G        Em
Yet they're always friendly, and
           Am       D
they're ready to please.
 
G
I like Chinese,
A
I like Chinese,
            D
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today,
          G               Em
You'd better learn to like them,
Am            D
That's what I say.
 
G
I like Chinese,
A
I like Chinese,
         D
They come from a long way overseas,
                 G
But they're cute and they're
Em                       Am       D
cuddly, and they're ready to please.
  
G
I like Chinese food,
A
The waiters never are rude,
D
Think of the many things they've done to impress,
             G          Em       Am              D
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching and Chess.
 
     G
So I like Chinese,
A
I like Chinese,
   D
I like their tiny little trees,
         G           Em                    Am      D
Their Zen, their Ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese.
 
G
I like Chinese thought,
A
The wisdom that Confucius taught
   D
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
       G              Em
The Chinese will survive us all
Am             D
without any doubt.
  
      G
So, I like Chinese
A
I like Chinese
        D
They only come up to your knees,
                   G                      Em
Yet they are wise and they're witty
            Am        D
and are ready to please.
 
G
I like Chinese
A
I like Chinese
        D
Their food if guaranteed to please,
G           Em       Am            D
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and ly-chees.

G
I like Chinese,
A
I like Chinese,
  D
I like their tiny little trees,
        G             Em
Their Zen, their ping-pong,
    Am           D
Their yin and yang-ese.

G
I like Chinese,
A
I like Chinese ...
  

Christmas in Heaven
  
Spoken Intro: 
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It's truly a real honourable Experience to be here this evening. A very wonderful and warm and emotional moment for all of us. And I'd like to sing a song for all of you.
   
     G          
It's Christmas in Heaven,
Am             
All the children sing,
C
It's Christmas in Heaven,
                         C  C/B C/A   G
Hark hark those church bells    ring.
     G
It's Christmas in Heaven,
       Am
The snow falls from the sky,
           C
But it's nice and warm and everyone
                           C C/B C/A G
Looks smart and wears a   tie.
  
      G
It's Christmas in Heaven,
            Am
There's great films on TV,
        C
'The Sound of Music' twice an hour
   C              C/B C/A G
And 'Jaws' 1, 2    and   3.
          G
There's gifts for all the family,
           Am
There's toiletries and trains
            C
There's Sony Walkman Headphone sets
                     C/B C/A G
And the latest video       games!
 
      G
It's Christmas it's Christmas
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray,
          Am             G
Every single day, is Christmas day.
     G
It's Christmas it's Christmas in Heaven,
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray,
          Am              G
Every single day it's Christmas day.
 

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
  
          Am                  D                 G                      Em
Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad
          Am                          D             G
Other things just make you swear and curse
                     Am                    D
When you've chewing an life's gristle
          G                   Em
Don't grumble give a whistle
        Am                                          D7
And this'll help things turn out for the best

        G       Em             Am    D7     G      Em    Am    D7
And always look on the bright side of life
    G      Em            Am  D7     G     Em    Am    D7
Always look on the light side of life
 

 
    Am                D                  G                        Em
If life seems jolly rotten there's something you've forgotten
                    Am                         D            G
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
                     Am              D                     G     Em
When you've feeling in the dumps don't be silly chumps
       Am                                                    D7
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing
 

 
        G       Em             Am    D7     G      Em    Am    D7
And always look on the bright side of life
    G      Em            Am  D7     G     Em    Am    D7
Always look on the light side of life
  

 
       Am               D               G                 Em
For life is quite absurd and death's the final word
               Am                  D                  G
you must always face the curtain with a bow
    Am                   D                 G              Em
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
   Am                                         D7
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
  

  
        G       Em             Am    D7     G      Em    Am    D7
So always look on the bright side of death
    G      Em            Am       D7     G     Em    Am    D7
just before you draw your terminal breath
  

  
Am                    D    G                      Em
Life's a piece of shit when you look at it
Am                      D                       G
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
           Am           D
You'll see it's all a show
      G               Em
Keep them laughing as you go
          Am                                           D7
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

  

        G       Em             Am    D7     G      Em    Am    D7
And always look on the bright side of life
    G      Em            Am  D7     G     Em    Am    D7
Always look on the light side of life
(Come on guys, cheer up)
A           F#             Bm    E7      A     F#    Bm    E7
Always look on the bright side of life
A           F#          Bm       E7      A     F#    Bm    E7
Always look on the bright side of life ....
 

I'm The Urban Spaceman
 
(Intro: G  A   C   D   G)
 
 G                                             A
I'm the urban spaceman baby, I've got speed
 C         D             G
I've got everything I need
 G                                            A
I'm the urban spaceman baby, I can fly
  C     D               G
I'm a supersonic guy
  

 
 Em
I don't need pleasure
   C           G
I don't feel pain
 C                   G
If you were to knock me down
 A                  D
I'd just get up again
 G                        
I'm the urban spaceman babe and
 A
I'm making out
C   D    G
I'm all about
 
(G   A     C   D   G)
 
  Em
I wake up every morning
            C                   G
with a smile upon my face
  C               G
My natural exuberance
  A                            D
spills out all over the place
  
(G    A     C    D    G)
  
 G           
I'm the urban spaceman
  A
I'm intelligent and clean
 C        D       G
Know what I mean?
 G                                  A
I'm the urban spaceman, as a lover second to none
C      D      G
It's a lot of fun
 

 
 Em
I never let my friends down
   C                        G
I've never made a boob
 C                 G
I'm a glossy magazine
  A                      D
an advert on the tube
 G                                                  A
I'm the urban spaceman babe, but here comes the twist
C D        G
I don't exist 
  
(G   A   C  D  G)