I Like Chinese
 
Spoken:
The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high
There are tools and idiots sitting on the trigger,
It's depressing and it's senseless and that's why:
 
  

(G) I like Chinese,
(A) I like Chinese,
They (D) only come up to your knees,
Yet they're (G) always (Em) friendly, and
they're (Am) ready to (D) please.

 
(G) I like Chinese,
(A) I like Chinese,
There's (D) nine hundred million of them in the world today,
You'd (G) better learn (Em) to like them,
(Am) That's what (D) I say.

  
(G) I like Chinese,
(A) I like Chinese,
They (D) come from a long way overseas,
But they're (G) cute and they're
(Em) cuddly, and they're (Am) ready to (D) please.

  
(G) I like Chinese food,
(A) The waiters never are rude,
(D) Think of the many things they've done to impress,
There's (G) Maoism, (Em) Taoism, (Am) I Ching and (D) Chess.

 
So (G) I like Chinese,
(A) I like Chinese,
I (D) like their tiny little trees,
Their (G) Zen, their (Em) Ping-pong, their (Am) yin and (D) yang-ese.

 
(G) I like Chinese thought,
(A) The wisdom that Confucius taught
If (D) Darwin is anything to shout about,
The (G) Chinese will (Em) survive us all
(Am) without any (D) doubt.

  
So, (G) I like Chinese
(A) I like Chinese
They (D) only come up to your knees,
Yet they are (G) wise and they're (Em) witty
and are (Am) ready to (D) please.
   

(G) I like Chinese
(A) I like Chinese
Their (D) food if guaranteed to please,
(G) A fourteen, (Em) a seven, (Am) a nine and (D) ly-chees.

(G) I like Chinese,
(A) I like Chinese,
I (D) like their tiny little trees,
Their (G) Zen, their (Em) Ping-pong, their (Am) yin and (D) yang-ese.

(G) I like Chinese,
(A) I like Chinese ...
  

Christmas in Heaven
  
Spoken Intro: 
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It's truly a real honourable experience to be here this evening. A very wonderful and warm and emotional moment for all of us. And I'd like to sing a song for all of you.
     
  

It's (G) Christmas in Heaven,
(Am) All the children sing,
(C) It's Christmas in Heaven,
Hark hark those (C) church(C/B) bells (G) ring.
It's (G) Christmas in Heaven,
The (Am) snow falls from the sky,
But it's (C) nice and warm and everyone
Looks smart and (C) wears(C\B)  a (G) tie.

 
It's (G) Christmas in Heaven,
There's (Am) great films on TV,
'The (C) Sound of Music' twice an hour
(C) And 'Jaws' (C/B) 1, 2 and (G) 3.
There's (G) gifts for all the family,
There's (Am) toiletries and trains
There's (C) Sony Walkman Headphone sets
And the latest (C/B) video (G) games!

 
It's (G) Christmas it's Christmas
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray,
Every (Am) single day, is (G) Christmas day.
It's (G) Christmas it's Christmas in Heaven,
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray,
Every (Am) single day it's (G) Christmas day.
 

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
  

    
Some (Am) things in life are (D) bad they can (G) really make you (Em) mad
Other (Am) things just make you (D) swear and (G) curse
When you've (Am) chewing an life's (D) gristle
Don't (G) grumble give a (Em) whistle
And (Am) this'll help things turn out for the (D7) best
    

And (G) always (Em) look on the (Am) bright (D7) side of (G) life  (Em    Am    D7) 
(G) Always (Em) look on the (Am) light (D7) side of (G) life   (Em    Am    D7) 

 
If (Am) life seems jolly (D) rotten there's (G) something you've (Em) forgotten
and that's to (Am) laugh and smile and (D) dance and (G) sing.
When you've (Am) feeling in the (D) dumps don't be (G) silly (Em) chumps
Just (Am) purse your lips and whistle - that's the (D7) thing

And (G) always (Em) look on the (Am) bright (D7) side of (G) life  (Em    Am    D7) 
(G) Always (Em) look on the (Am) light (D7) side of (G) life   (Em    Am    D7) 
  

 
For (Am) life is quite (D) absurd and (G) death's the final (Em) word
you must (Am) always face the (D) curtain with a (G) bow
(Am) Forget about your (D) sin - give the (G) audience a (Em) grin
(Am) Enjoy it - it's your last chance (D7) anyhow.  

 
 
So (G) always (Em) look on the (Am) bright (D7) side of (G) death  (Em    Am    D7) 
Just (G) before (Em) you draw (Am) your (D7) terminal (G) breath  (Em    Am    D7) 

    
(Am) Life's a piece of (D) shit (G) when you look at (Em) it
(Am) Life's a laugh and (D) death's a joke it's (G) true
You'll (Am) see it's all a (D) show
(G) Keep them (Em) laughing as you go
Just reme(Am)mber that the last laugh is on (D7) you

And (G) always (Em) look on the (Am) bright (D7) side of (G) life  (Em    Am    D7)
(G) Always (Em) look on the (Am) light (D7) side of (G)  life   (Em    Am    D7)
Always look on the light side of life
[Come on guys, cheer up]
(A) Always (F#) look on the (Bm) bright (E7) side of (A)life   (F#    Bm    E7)
(A) Always (F#) look on the (Bm) bright (E7) side of (A) life   (F#    Bm    E7)

I'm The Urban Spaceman
 
Intro: G  A   C   D   G
  
(G) I'm the urban spaceman baby, 

(A) I've got speed

(C) I've got (D) everything I (G) need

(G) I'm the urban spaceman baby, (A) I can fly

I'm a (C) super(D)sonic (G) guy

I (Em) don't need pleasure

I (C) don't feel (G) pain

(C) If you were to (G) knock me down

I'd (A) just get up (D) again

(G) I'm the urban spaceman  babe

(A) I'm making out

(C) I'm (D) all (G) about

Instrumental (G   A     C   D   G)

I (Em) wake up every morning with a (C) smile upon my (G) face

My (C) natural exu(G)berance spills (A) out all over the (D) place

(G    A     C    D    G)

(G) I'm the urban spaceman

I'm (A) intelligent and clean

(C) Know (D) what I (G) mean?

(G) I'm the urban spaceman, as a (A) lover second to none

(C) It's a (D) lot of (G) fun

I (Em) never let my friends down

I've (C) never made a (G) boob

(C) I'm a glossy (G) magazine,

An (A) advert in the (D) tube

(G) I'm the urban spaceman, babe

But (A) here comes the twist

(C) I (D) don't (G) exist

(G   A   C  D  G)